Happiness or if you like wellness behaviours

Quite often when people come to see me and I ask them what they would like out of our sessions they say I just want to be happier. What a lot of people don’t realize is that as well as having  to work on those areas of their life that are making them unhappy we also have to work on the parts of their life that make them happy. Because believe it or not happiness does not just happen if the stuff you think is making you unhappy is removed .You still have to develop behaviors for happiness or mental wellness to take their place otherwise all the old negative stuff will just creep back in.

When we talk about happiness or wellness behaviors, we are talking about every thing that we do with both our body and our minds and all the actions that we take. It is in fact imposable to do nothing as ‘nothing’ is in fact still something. At every waking moment you can, if you look, identify the behavior that you are currently engaged in. And this behavior whatever it may be then forms part of a cycle of  Behavior = Thought= Feelings.

This then goes round and round and if you have a negative behavior it will create a negative thought which will give you a negative feeling and the same goes for your thoughts a negative thought will give you a negative behavior and then a negative feeling.

Now what we need to work out is what are happiness or wellness behaviors. There are some which are pretty much universal and will go a long way to keeping you happy and mentally well.They are-

  • Eating a healthy and balanced diet.
  • Regular physical exercise. This does not mean you have to join a gym or run a marathon ( but you can if you want ) you could just go for a walk.
  • Get enough sleep. Being tired will make you grumpy and give rise to a lot of negative thoughts.
  • Maintaining a good standard of personal hygiene.
  • Meeting up with family and friends on a regular basis.
  • Spending some time outside every day even if its only 15 minutes or so.
  • Taking pride in your appearance. Whatever this means for you personally.
  • Keep both the place that you live and work clean and tidy. You may be sitting reading this saying I like the mess and chaos, trust me on this just try it clean and tidy for a while and see how it makes you feel.
  • Have some ‘you ‘time every day, read a book ,have a bath with the door locked, listen to some music, whatever you like just do it every day just for you.

Now I am not trying to tell you that standing outside for 15 minutes each day will make you happy or keep you mentally well. What I am suggesting is that if you try all of the above behaviors together, combined they will go a long way to helping you maintain a state of happiness and well being.

If you want to visualize how this works you could imagine your happiness as a giant game of jenga. With all the pieces in place the game will sit there quite happily. However if we start to take pieces away such as friends , family, sleep , balanced diet it will become unstable and if enough pieces are removed it will collapse altogether.

It is the same with our happiness if enough pieces are removed we will become shaky and unhappy leaving us feeling stressed , sad and angry . The fact is at the times when we feel we haven’t got time to visit friends , go for a walk or have some time for ourselves is the very time that we need it the most.

There are of course many other actions that you can take to make you happy the ones listed above are just to get you started .So take the first steps and  they will help you stride towards the bigger stuff such as moving, changing your job or anything else you need to do in order to be happy and sane.


5 star He is amazing I lost 3 and a half stone after seeing him and being hypnotised, recommended to all! X

Beci Mann

5 star I finally quit smoking!!!

Ruth Smith